Monday, December 12, 2011

How NOT to make a Gingerbread House

I am good at several things.  I have endless creativity and imagination.  I can . . . blah, blah, blah.  I'm here today to start my series on "How to do everything Worse for the Holidays"   It will be a guide on how to do everything worse.  I figure there are probably about a million people out there right now telling everyone how to do everything better. . . . how to wrap the perfect present, how to make the best Christmas cookies, how to make the perfect host gift, teacher gift, how to get the kids to go to bed on time Christmas Eve.  Well, here's the first part of "How to do everything Worse for the Holidays" (It's a joke, son, get it?)

And now, for your entertainment~~
"How NOT to build a Gingerbread House"

Step 1.  Eagerly await building your very first Gingerbread house with the kids.
Step 2. Gather all of the required ingredients.
 Step 3.  Make the "royal icing" or as I like to call it, "Royal pain in the Candy Cane"
It might also leave you saying, "Oh, Frostbite".  A Lot.
Step 4.  Try to make the angles on the graham crackers to create the peaks in the roof.  Crack at least 4 crackers trying to do so, then give up.
 Step 5.  Just decide to make a Frank Lloyd Wright house, instead.  
 Step 6.  Try to put candy on every surface so that it still looks like a Gingerbread house.
 Step 7.  Prepare for the earthquake or hurricane or whatever will cause your house to look like this.
 Step 8.  Take lots of pictures so that you know not to repeat the same process next year.
Step 9.  Wash hands for fifteen minutes trying to get the dried powdered sugar/egg white mixture off without removing skin.
Step 10.  Enjoy the kids' smiles.  They had fun anyway.

So, this is what we ended up with
It seems like everyone and their brother and sister make gingerbread houses every year.  What's the trick? 
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