Thursday, July 12, 2012
Just one of those frustrating days!
Well, it has been just one of those days. This post is simply for therapeutic reasons. Please forgive my ranting. And I promise I'm not becoming some negative Nelly! I know it might seem like it lately with my lip (which is healing very nicely, by the way) and the late flight posts, but I'm not! I'm really looking for some solutions. And sometimes, it just helps to hash it out with friends.
Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary. And for only the second time in the history of our marriage, we don't have plans. This was the year I wanted to do the whole vow renewal ceremony and have a big party and possibly go on a little vacation with just my hubby. But, alas, we have no plans.
And he's working nights again. So, that day shift didn't last very long. And that's unfortunate, because my hubby was so happy to finally be back on the dayshift. I'm afraid none of us are re-adjusting very well. Well, I'm doing the best out of all of us. And NOW I sound like my son who drives me crazy because he's the "best" at everything.
I'm all for having confidence. But, he's that kid who as soon as something has been said, he chimes in with "I did it better", or "I was fastest", or "I scored higher". . . . usually even if he hasn't.And it's driving me crazy. Does that make me a bad mother? It's almost like I want to knock him down a peg. Horrible!!! I know! I have no idea what it is about that, that drives me crazy! Is it because he's a boy? Would I feel the same way if he was a girl?
We're having real issues in our house about "work". I understand that kids are kids and all they want to do is play. I get that. But, there are going to be "chores" or things that they are going to have to do around the house. At the very least, they need to pick up their own toys and messes that they've made.
When it's time to get the cleaning stuff done, I tell them what to do. I know that I am at fault when it comes to some of this stuff because I verbally give them a list of stuff that's too long for them to remember. And then I go back and they've lost focus and haven't even done the first thing. So, I tell them again. And again. And then I get frustrated! And they get frustrated.
I have been accused of "barking orders" at the kids---thank you so much dear hubby for putting those words into my children's mouths. Love you for that. But, if I don't say what needs to be done, then I'll forget and it won't get done.
One of our main problems is that no matter how nice I ask the first time, Logan immediately gets an attitude. And then he starts speaking in this voice that I can not stand. It's this whiny, nasally voice that drives me absolutely batty!
I know that he and I need to figure out how to work things out before he becomes a teenager. I love him. I do love that little man. But, we really have some issues right now.
So, I'm trying to come up with solutions. I asked him if making a list would make it better between us. That way, I could make a list of things he needs to accomplish. It would be on paper where he could see it and I wouldn't have to "bark orders". I told him that I would still have to check on him to make sure he's getting the stuff done. He didn't like that. But, he loses focus so easily, he needs to be checked on still.
I asked him, "How can we solve this Logan?" I told him that we need to be able to do our work and still be happy. I told him that we need to work on a solution together so that we can get the work done and still get along. He told me he doesn't understand "all of that". I asked him "Would you rather me make a list? Or would you rather me keep yelling?" He told me "Neither". He told me he "just doesn't want to do the work." I told him that he has to do the work no matter what. He is admittedly lazy. He told me with his own mouth that he's lazy!
So, WE still don't have a solution. But, I'm going to try the list tomorrow. The challenge for me will be to focus on the list. That means that I need to give him the list and let him be responsible for it. I'm not sure what to do after that though. I really don't want to hen-peck these kids to death. But, they need to get their work done!
How can I get him to accept responsibility for the list so that I don't have to keep pestering him? We've tried positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement. . . I just don't know what works. We've found that money is a motivator for Logan, but I don't want to do that. I just don't think that's a good idea.
Another problem I have is consistency. I find it very hard to be consistent when I have so much going on, but I KNOW that's the key to everything!!