NaBloPoMo | I'm a crybaby!

By now, some of you may know. . . . I'm a big crybaby!  When my hubby and I met, I cried when I got off the cruise.  He said that was the moment he knew he could fall in love with me.  Little did he know he was in for a life of tears from me! 

I cry when I'm happy.  I cry when I'm frustrated.  I cry when I'm sad.  I cry when things are beautiful.  I have to bite my lip during dance recitals and when kids are singing.  I crack once the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve. . . I have no idea why.  The year's over?  Promise of new beginnings?  I cried when my son saw his first parade!  Last week, my hubby had to hold me while I sobbed on the driveway when Jaycee got on the bus.  Thank goodness he was there!  He might just have cried a little with me. . . that's the effect seeing another person crying has on people.  And I think that's why people don't like to see me cry.  Because they don't want to cry in front of people!

But, I don't like to cry in front of people.  It makes my life pretty difficult sometimes.  When you cry as easily as I do, it's hard to hide it.  And people know that I cry, so sometimes if they think there's a situation that I might be likely to cry. . . . they avoid me!  For example,
when my college roommate was moving away, she tried to schedule her departure for a time when  I was at work so that she wouldn't have to go through the whole crying thing.  I ended up seeing her in a parking lot.  Can't remember why or how, but I still got to do the whole crying thing.  And she didn't get to miss it!

Or, when we're on family vacations and we all have to leave each other, my sister will say goodbye as quickly as she can.  She knows I'll cry and that will make her cry and she just doesn't want to cry!  

People know that if they're saying goodbye to me or I'm saying goodbye to them, that I'm just not going to be able to talk.  I'm a blubbering idiot by that time.  And talking makes me cry more.  

In those times it's hard to avoid being seen crying.  But, when I can manage it, I try to hide when I'm crying.  Because, as I said, I don't like people to see me cry.  It's embarrassing.  I don't know why.  I guess I think people will think I'm weak.  So, I've hidden in bathrooms, bedrooms, under covers.  And I try to compose myself and pull myself together so that no one even knows that I've been crying.  I can't stand it when there's actually evidence of me crying.  .  . red eyes, sniffly nose.  Because sometimes, I'm just not ready to talk about whatever it is that made me cry.

I do not like crying in front of people.  Why do you think people don't like to cry in front of people?  And why do you think it makes people uncomfortable when you do?  Because you don't know how to react?  You're afraid of crying yourself?


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