I can't believe my first baby is almost nine years old! Unbelievable. Completely. When people say "time flies", they are right. When people say "soak in every moment" and "don't waste a single moment", they are right. There are times when I can't even remember what Logan was like as a baby. I can't remember what it felt like to pick him up, rock him or smell his little baby head. I can't remember the first time he walked. I can't remember his first word! I've been reading a lot of books lately about living a balanced life. And they all say to live in the here and now. We can't think about the past or the future. We only have the "now." I can only hope that at the point that all of those things happened, I was completely involved in that moment.
But, what I can remember vividly was the day he was born. And it occurred to me, maybe I've never told y'all the story. So, here goes. . .
Before I had Logan, I didn't know much about babies. In fact, I told people that I would rather someone else raise the babies until the children were old enough to talk back to me. Then, I might be able to handle it! I was scared to death that I wouldn't know how to take care of a baby. I had never changed a diaper in my life, except for one time that I changed my little brother's diaper. . . and I had to ask him if it was on right. Not sure he ever answered me!
So when I was pregnant the first time, I was kind of hoping the pregnancy would never end. If I never had the baby, I wouldn't have to learn how to take care of the baby and possibly be a failure. As long as the baby was inside me, I was the almost perfect mother. The baby was getting the perfect nutrition, the perfect warmth, the perfect everything. Alas, babies are not meant to be inside forever.
God knew what he was doing. He knew he was going to have to just "throw me" into this job. So, Logan came four weeks early.
I woke up one Sunday morning and went to the potty (although I'm sure I didn't call it a "potty" at that point in time--I wasn't a full-blown mommy yet). I felt a gush. I wasn't sure if it was what I thought it was--my water breaking. My hubby was already up playing a video game. Thank goodness it was a Sunday and he was home! I told him, "I might be crazy, but I think my water just broke." That was 9:00 a.m.
So, I took a shower and shaved my legs, which is funny because the woman at the birthing class we took told us you'd be surprised how many women have time to shave their legs. So, I did. Then, we left for the hospital. We probably got to the hospital around 10 a.m.
Here's something I didn't know before my water broke--it doesn't break and then it's gone. It keeps coming. So, when I went into the emergency room, I was waddling back and forth hoping that I wasn't going to soak my pants and the emergency room. The woman asked me if I was in labor and I said, "I think so." So, they put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me up to the maternity floor.
They put me in a room, which I thought was just to test to see if I was in labor. They have that cotton swab test that they do to test to see if it's amniotic fluid. While the nurse was doing the test, another big gush came out and soaked her. She said, "Yep, you're in labor." I didn't realize that was the room I would be staying in the rest of the day. That was THE room.
So, we were there for the long haul. We called everyone and let them know that it was time. Since Logan was four weeks early and the doctor still hadn't done the Strep B test, they had to hook me up to antibiotics, which burned going into my arm. We walked around for a while trying to get the labor going. By 3:00 P.M., I still had not dilated very much. So, they hooked up Pitocin. So, then I had an antibiotic drip and a Pitocin drip. And I don't have very easy veins in the part of my arm where they wanted to hook everything up, so the needles ended up in a part of my arm where they don't usually like to put it for when you push. But, it was what it was.
The Pitocin started to kick in and I started to get really bad labor pains after about two hours. But, I didn't want to use any pain medication if I didn't have to. So, I lived with the pain for a little bit--about two hours longer. It became bad. By 7:00 P.M. the nurses told me that I still had a long way to go. I still wasn't dilated that much and I was in serious pain. So, we opted to get the epidural. It was so hard sitting still on that bed while the anesthesiologist tried to get the needle in. We had to try to time it for when I wasn't having a contraction. Once it was in though, it was the best thing I had ever done. In my life. Seriously. I can't believe I waited so long to get the darn epidural.
After I got the epidural, I was able to enjoy the whole process. I had to lie in the bed, but I was able to talk to my family. Five hours later, around midnight, they asked if I was ready to push. And so began the end of our journey to meet our new baby. Since Logan was four weeks early, there were so many people in the room with us. They sent a NICU team just in case.
I pushed for about an hour and fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, I started ripping in a place they didn't want me to rip, so the doctor had to do an episiotomy. And then I ripped from that. So, after Logan was actually here, the doctor looked at me and said, "I'm going to be here a while"--meaning, she was going to be stitching for a while. My hubby couldn't stand the doctor at that point. He thought it was rude that she said that to me. I had a third degree tear on one side and a second degree tear on another side.
My little man was so cute. And he was big for being four weeks early! He was seven pounds when he was born. And he was worth absolutely everything I went through. But, once I got back in the bed at the hospital, I had a hard time getting in and out with all of the stitches. So, my hubby did a lot to take care of Logan. He brought him to me when he needed to be nursed. And my hubby had to help me get up and down when I needed to use the restroom and when I finally took a shower.
When I left the hospital, we were sent home with our diaper bag for Logan--which I hear they don't send home anymore. And the doctor sent me home with prescriptions for ibuprofen and told me to take a liquid iron supplement, which I found online, since I'd lost so much blood. The nurse also gave me the thing for the Sitz bath, which I never did. I had family members who continually yelled at me for not doing my Sitz bath. But, I didn't feel like I had the time for it! It was such a huge period of adjustment for me. But, all of that would take up an entire additional blog post! Maybe some day I'll tell you guys that story.
Do you clearly remember your labor and deliveries?
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