analyze (a text or a linguistic or conceptual system) by deconstruction, typically in order to expose its hidden internal assumptions and contradictions and subvert its apparent significance or unity.
I would like to change (a text or a linguistic or conceptual system) by adding to it and making it ( a text or a linguistic or conceptual system or human being) by deconstruction.
When I read the definitions the first time when the word popped into my head as my word for 2016, I read it to mean "expose all the bulls**t" and figure out what's working and what's not working.
I truthfully never liked reading comprehension and the picking apart of every story I ever read. I didn't want to do that. I, quite frankly, didn't care about the "symbolism" of certain things in books. I don't want to over-analyze everything and pick everything apart until it's tiny little bones are clean.
I just wanted to read the book and feel what it made me feel. I didn't need to dive in any deeper than that. Just make me feel something.
So, this analyzing thing is hard for me. I came into this year with every intention of trying to figure out which things are working and which things I could improve on. How can I live my best life possible this year? Then the money worries set in, but so too did the endless possibilities that a New Year could bring.
Because it was the New Year, all of the "You can do great things this year" posts and classes and webinars and e-books flooded my emails and Facebook stream. I jumped on board and decided THIS was the year I was going to make my blog the thing I wanted it to be when I started -- a financial help to my family. I started reading the ebooks and listening to the webinars and started trying to put into practice the things they were talking about.
One of the things that they suggest over and over and over again (even when I began my blog 5 years ago) was that "you have to have a niche!!" I fought trying to have a niche for a long time and then this year, I said "What the heck! I'll try to pick a niche." And you know what? It actually took some of the pressure off. Since I wasn't going to try to do as many crafts or kids posts anymore, I could thin out my craft room. . . . . I don't have to keep boxes of empty toilet paper tubes anymore! I could focus my energies only on trying to create posts in my niche--healthy and balanced living.
The webinars promised that if we followed their plans and worked 40 hours a week for this many months, that I would be making money. BUT, those things take time (like. . . 40 hours a week, which I can't manage to put in) and as of right now, I have very little to show for it except for a messy house and more stress.
I've discovered that I don't like to have a messy house.
I've also discovered that my life is back out of balance again.
I actually find JOY in taking care of my house and creating a space that is relaxing for my hubby and kids to come home to. I like walking into a kitchen that doesn't have crumbs on the floor and walking into a living room that isn't overflowing with baskets of laundry. I want to be able to keep the paperwork and clutter under control and have toilets that don't stink.
There are still some things in my life and home that I need to work on before I can truly create in this blog what I need to create.
I've been kind of confused lately about what I'm supposed to be doing to help out my family financially. I've been doing a lot of praying (probably not enough) and I am thankfully working toward getting back into my daily Bible reading~~which helps with everything, doesn't it?
I've seen some people doing the bullet-point journaling. I have no idea what that is. . . . . but I think I'm going to start that to see if it will help focus my energies where they need to be. . . . . .or at least to just have fun!
For now, these are the things that are somewhat balanced in my life right now:
- I do have one area of my life that I feel is "kind of" working for me right now and that's my fitness and workout goals. I'm not doing quite as much as I'd like to do, but I am working out usually at least 3 times a week.
- I have been pretty good about spending an hour each night with my hubby. We have our own little "thing" now. We drink a glass (or two) of wine and watch a show on Netflix.
- My kids are "kind of " doing more chores. . . . I was hoping to have them fully integrated into the housework by the end of this year. Unfortunately, we don't really have a system yet. They just do chores as we ask them to do them. One day they might have to fold towels. One day they might have to put dishes in the dishwasher. One day they might have to sweep the front entryway. The chores that they are supposed to always do is fold their own clothes, clean their own bathroom, and clean up after themselves after eating. I really should probably come up with some kind of chart to make things more consistent. . . . . a way to be proactive instead of reactive.
Here are the books that I'm reading to help me "figure out" what in the world I need to do to deconstruct my life and figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing!
. . . . . . . and my thoughts from all of today's readings and what I would bullet-point for today:
- My life on this earth is temporary, so I shouldn't let these things worry me.
- Love is the most important thing.
- God is both my creator and my father.
- God gave me talents to use while here, to help fulfill my purpose that He gave me.
How do you feel about the balance in your life right now?