3 Arguments Married Couples Have (and How to Resolve Them)

Married life is a blessing; sharing your life with your best friend is just about the most rewarding thing you can do. However, it’s unrealistic to always portray marriage as an endless sea of delight-- there are going to be rough patches in there, too.

It’s generally accepted that arguing is natural for couples; some even say it’s a positive thing. However, what can become tiresome is if you have the same arguments over and over again, never change, and rehashing the same points you have both made hundreds of times. Below are some of the most common causes for marital discord, as well as a few ideas of how to navigate through them.

ARGUMENT: Finances and money

If you and your husband get very different results when you run through a financial compatibility quiz, don’t worry: your marriage isn’t doomed. However, you will both need to make compromises to prevent the same arguments.

The biggest financial issue in marriages is when one partner is a saver and the other is a spender. The best way of combating this is to separate your finances. Both of you can pay into a communal fund to pay the mortgage, bills, and all other joint finances; then you have a separate fund each which you can use to spend (or save!) however you want.

ARGUMENT: Household chores

Studies have consistently shown that women still do more housework than men, which can lead to marital irritation and arguments.

The only way to combat this is to have definitive chores assigned to each person. Don’t cross over or do chores on their behalf just to get them done. Be absolute; only the person assigned the chore does the chore. Write down who has to do what so there’s never any confusion. Chores should be completed weekly; if they haven’t been, then a fun penalty (such as posing for a silly photo or doing 10 push ups) should help incentivize cooperation without feeling like an unpleasant punishment.

ARGUMENT: Going out or staying in

When people get married, they have a tendency to cast aside their previous party-loving lifestyle in favor of cozy nights in. This is wonderful, and a big part of the adjustment that marriage requires, but couples can still sometimes find themselves wanting different things from a spare evening. He wants to go out to a restaurant; you want to stay in. Then the next night, you want to go to the cinema; he wants to be in bed by 9pm.

The solution to this is to take it in turns to make decisions about what you do with your free time. This ensures that you both get some of what you want, without having to do too much of what you don’t want. It also means you can enjoy your choice on your nights, because you won’t feel like you’re denying him something that he wants to do. This helps to keep everyone smiling and ensures no one feels like they are being left out.

Hopefully the solutions above will be beneficial to resolving some of the most commonly-repeated arguments between married couples-- good luck!

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1 comment:

  1. Ok I don't work so I have no income thus I am wholly supported by Tim which means I don't have any money really to spend on stuff but out of my housekeeping money I manage to save for Christmas so at the end of the year I don't have to ask Tim for extra money.

    Also because I don't work I am happy to do all the housework and general running around along with paying the bills each week.

    As strange as it may sound in 33 years Tim and I have only had a few arguments but we do bicker about little things from time to time.


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