NaBloPoMo | Look into my eyes (but not directly)

Today's NaBloPoMo prompt:
When you are speaking with someone, do you prefer to look them in the eye or talk over the phone?

Since I really don't like talking on the phone, I'll have to say that I prefer to look people in the eye.  Texting was not an option!  Let's just say that I'm not good at small talk in any of it's forms.  If texting was an option, I would have chosen texting.   I am just not good at making small talk on the phone.  Depending on the person, I'd much rather be with them in person.  Although I'm not good with small talk in person, either.

I think it's more important today to focus on the "look them in the eye" portion of this.  I have always been extremely shy.  Most people don't believe that when I say it because I've done a pretty good job of "faking it" for a while.  But being shy, I have a very hard time looking people in the eye.  It makes me nervous.  

I guess I've always wondered what I have to "offer" to people.  I've never thought that I was good enough.  Why would anyone want to know my point of view???  I also think it's true that the eyes are the window to the soul.  And why would I want to let anyone in to see the real me?  Is the real me worth it?  I guess it all comes down to confidence and that's something I've had to work on my whole life.

I'm not fishing for any kind of compliments.  Please don't compliment anything right now!  It's just an internal struggle that I deal with.  I joke that God gave me intelligence, creativity, etc., but hindered me with being shy so that I'd never be able to do anything with it.  I have ideas, but looking people in the eye and telling them about it might just give me a heart attack!   Or at least a really nasty case of hives.   In any case, I'd rather talk in person than on the phone.


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