My Husband Has an Addiction to Buying Fake Potted Plants

When he brought the first few home, I thought it was fine.  A little weird, but fine.  He thought maybe some plants would spruce up our deck and make it feel more inviting and homey.  I think he actually went searching for fake plants on Craig's List and Let Go.  The first time he came home with the plants, he came home with maybe 5 large ones and 2 small palm-looking thingies.  The funny thing is, after he bought the first few, he found some on the side of the road.  "How funny is that?" he said.

"They were just sitting on the side of the road! And it's exactly what I was looking for!"

He wanted plants that wouldn't die.  He bought 7 pots of real plants last year and only 5 of our pots survived.  Mind you, not ALL of the trees inside the remaining 5 pots survived.  Most of the pots had 2 trees each. So, we've probably killed at least 6 of the 14 original plants.  Those plants were supposedly fool-proof.  There was NO WAY we could kill them.  They were supposed to practically take care of themselves.  .  .  .  .  until.  they.  met. us. .  .  . Bom, bom, bom. . . .the plant killers.  (I do have a couple small house plants that have survived since late Winter, thank you very much!)

Okay now, with these "easy" plants, here is one of the funny parts. . . .he wanted us to BRING the plants inside, when it rains.  Say what now?  Where in the world am I supposed to put all of these fake potted plants when it rains?  We did actually bring them in one time. I think it was before we went camping the first time.  Mind you, that was the original 5 - 7 fake potted plants.  My sunroom looked like a jungle.  Not exactly the look I was going for with my black/white/modern southwest/boho theme (which I still haven't finished with all the camping, and the cleaning of the mouse poop, and the camping) The funnier thing is that the kids brought them in and put them right in front of the fridge.  My hubby went to get a beer one time and said, "I KNOW I told them to bring them in, but I didn't mean right in front of the fridge."  Haha!  Ummmm, so where then?  There is no way I'm bringing all those plants in every time there's a chance for rain!  And please note all of the blue tool buckets from when he was working on the pergola over Memorial Day weekend.  My hubby is one hard worker.  He hasn't had time to actually finish that thing yet between his jobs and the camping.

My hubby made a joke the other night about me posting something and I told him, "No, I have another idea for a post I'm doing about you."  I couldn't even the get the words out of my mouth I was laughing so hard.  For some reason, at that moment, it struck me so funny I was laughing and crying at the same time.  Geez, these menopause hormones.  They make me cray-cray. I told him how I was writing a post called, "My Husband Has an Addiction to Buying Fake Potted Plants" and even he laughed!  He was like, "Well, I tried the real thing.  Don't water them, they die. Water them, they die. People told me to stick my finger in the dirt.  Is it dry?  Yeah, it's dry!  It's dead!"  And he rambled on for another minute or so. . .

After the first 7 fake plants, he came with more.  I heard him say that he "got another palm tree."  I thought nothing of that statement until I looked out my kitchen window one day and saw the fake palm tree.  Holy Smokes.  You meant you got another TALL fake palm tree.

And this trunk?  I have NO idea what it goes to.  Is it just an extra for the tall Palm Tree???  I was laughing so hard when I was taking these pictures.

Then a couple days later, another plant showed up in front of my front door.  I'm not even kidding.

A friend came over to pick up my daughter for a playdate today and said, "Oh, have you been potting?"  I was kind of confused.  ???   "Um, no."  My porch is such a mess!  I need to clean it.  Oh, the plants???  No, these are some of the fake plants my hubby bought. That fern on the top right is real, though.  Oh crap!  I need to water the ferns!

I will let you know if any more fake plants pop up in my house.  We might need to start him on a 12 step program.

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