3 Tips to Surviving a Breakup

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but the fact is that breaking up with your partner is almost never a pleasant experience. Even when it’s amicable, there’s often a tinge of blame or regret about the matter on one side or the other – or sometimes on both. Even if things remain amicable between you, once your ex finds a new partner, his/her attitude towards you may dramatically change for the worse.

The hardest part of all is that you may still love your ex, even if you couldn’t live with them any more. You may still love your ex, even if you also hate them.  It's complicated.

Take care of your emotions

Whoever left who, it’s hard. Either you’ve had to move out and find a new place to live, or else you’re stuck in a place that reminds you of him, which now seems incredibly empty. If he was the one that left, you may be dealing with a lot of blame, resentment and anger; if it was you, you may now regret your actions, or question them, or else be walking around in a state of complete denial. The clich├ęd fact is, only time can heal this. Until then, the best thing you can do to survive this trauma is to take care of yourself emotionally.  It's a good idea to talk to someone, whether it’s a therapist or just a friend. You need someone that you can confide in. Don’t keep it all bottled up, because you probably need to vent. 

Take care of your body

You also need to take care of yourself physically. Everyone will understand if you reach for a glass of wine and a carton of ice cream at a time like this, but in the long-term, alcohol and sweets won’t help, and it could even be extremely harmful. You need to eat right, sleep right, and try to remain physically active.  Working out can lift your spirits and help you feel in control.  Also, it would be healthier to treat yourself with a massage, than a bottle of wine. Schedule yourself a massage and don't feel guilty about it.

Seek justice

Although breaking up with someone you were going out with – or even living with – may be bad, for some reason a divorce is often ten times worse. People will do completely crazy things in the middle of a divorce, especially when there’s property at stake, or a battle over child custody. Sometimes a line gets crossed, as in cases where a person actually breaks the law by altering or hiding the relevant files on their computer.

In cases like this the person contesting the matter (or their attorney) can bring in a computer forensics expert, who will still be able to find where the missing evidence is hidden, or discover the ways it’s been tampered with.

It’s also not unknown for people to hack into their ex’s computer or mobile device, either to gain information or to alter it (this may just seem like your computer’s being unusually slow, or affected by spyware). Again, if you suspect this has happened to you, the evidence can be detected by an expert, and proved in a way that will stand up in court.  Hopefully things will never become that bad between you and your ex in the future, but it’s as well to be prepared.

Remember, breakups can be hard, but the consequences of them don't last forever.  Take care of yourself and your business until then.

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