The Secrets to a Lasting Relationship

Human beings are social animals, and we need companionship to be well-balanced and productive individuals in society. Deep, fulfilling, and meaningful relationships are essential to our overall wellbeing. There are many benefits to being in a loving relationship. You are happier and less stressed out, for example. Good and lasting relationships require work, lots of it, to remain stable and proper even after the thrill of a new relationship – the honeymoon phase - has died down. Building and working on a mutually beneficial relationship is particularly harder these days with people having shorter attention spans and the easy availability of several avenues where you can meet more handsome or beautiful and interesting people than your current partner. Here are some secrets to building a lasting relationship.

Work on yourself first

Broken people hurt people. It is best to stay single and work on yourself if you have mental and emotional baggage that may complicate your relationship should you get into one. Your relationship probably won’t last long if you have unresolved issues from your past and present. Seek professional help to help you deal with them before you get into a relationship. Someone coming into your life should complement you, not take up the role of a therapist. Yes, they may love you, but over time your issues may become suffocating to them and they will seek a way out of it.

Be your own person. Have hobbies and have a life of your own. Read widely and be knowledgeable on current affairs topics like the Walmart supply chain issues, what’s happening with Korea, and how Japan is preparing for the Olympics, in order to be an interesting conversationalist. In short, be the kind of person you’d date.

It is also not advisable to get into a relationship when you haven’t moved on from your ex. You are lying to yourself and hurting your partner. Give your wounds time to heal before entering another relationship if you want it to last longer than your previous one.


Open communication is one of the hallmarks of a healthy and long-lasting relationship. Communication helps both of you to understand each other’s needs. Have an open communication mechanism in which you can freely express your opinions, feelings, and desires. Remember your partners are not mind readers. Tell them what you like and dislike. For instance, if it bothers you that they leave dirty dishes in the sink longer than you’d like, tell them so. Unexpressed feelings can lead to resentment which will destroy your relationship. If you are having problems in the relationship, sit down and talk about it with honesty and frankness. Use communication to re-affirm your love for your partner, not just for complaints and criticisms. Compliment them and tell them how attractive you find them.

Sit on your ego

You need to rein in your pride and ego if you want a lasting relationship. Actually, it is simply a matter of maturity. No one wants to be in a relationship with a narcissist who can’t admit and apologize when they are wrong. Great relationships are built on compromise. You can't have everything your way all the time. You are two in that relationship, and you have to compromise for the good of your relationship. Do not bully or manipulate your partner into always coming to your side. It is okay to have divergent opinions, after all, you are adults.  When you offend your partner, own up and apologize to them.

With these tips you should be able to build a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.

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